How much sex is healthy?

How much sex is healthy?

The human being is a marvelous organic machine which requires a number of necessities to function properly. Just as any other living species we need certain essentials such as air, water, oxygen, shelter and even sex. Even before the days of comfort and luxury, when mankind was still traveling continents and hunting and gathering, the drive to continue the species was always foremost. No matter what our surroundings are or how successful and fulfilled we become as a society, there will always be a biological need to have children.


Of course, these facts also deal with human sexuality at its most basic level. As society and mankind developed further and became domesticated and educated, our mental and psychological development also increased dramatically. Once you move beyond the simple instincts of a less advanced race, all types of other factors begin to play a role in the evolution of physical intimacy and sexual relationships.

Why Do We Have Sex?

What was touched on in the introduction was simply the underlying, scientific reason behind the unending desire to mate. What we are looking into in this article is how much sex is healthy for today’s adult. There are a number of reasons that having a regular sexual relationship is of large importance to most people. Sex fulfills a countless number of desires and requirements. Human beings are a social creature and we need physical contact at certain times. There are also the emotional and for some, spiritual aspects of sex as well. All of these things factor in deciding what the right amount of sexual activity is for you and your partner. There are two main motivating factors determining what we seek and get out of sex:

Physical Gratification

The first thing that comes to most people’s minds when they think about the benefits of sleeping with a partner is the immense pleasure and satisfaction that accompanies the act itself. There are also numerous secondary physical benefits that come along with a healthy sex life as well. It is great exercise for one. It helps cardiovascular health and has been shown to reduce the risk of prostate disease or heart conditions. It has also long been known to alleviate stress and anxiety.

Emotional Gratification

In addition to the obvious physical pleasure and enjoyment that having sex brings its participants, there are also several emotional factors that play into the reasons we have sex, as well as how much sex is healthy. This is especially true for couples who are in a marriage, living together or in some other type of lengthy committed relationship. It may still be true to a lesser extent even with people in a more casual, uncommitted arraignment.


For most people love and acceptance are expressed through sex and physical intimacy with someone that they care about. It is a way not only to experience pleasure as an individual, but to share and experience pleasure together as a couple. This also has a big part in the overall health of your relationship as well. Numerous studies indicate that couples who have a healthier emotional sex life tend to also have more successful and long-term relationships.

Unhealthy Emotional Reasons

There are also a few negative and unhealthy emotional or psychological reasons that motivate a person to have sex as well, though this isn’t something that is beneficial to explore. In fact, if you find yourself continually falling into these patterns or repeating these cycles over and over, it may be best to seek the help of a mental or sexual health expert. One of these common triggers is the need to feel loved or wanted and replacing the emotional feelings of love with the physical feelings of sex. Since people already feel closer and more intimate during sex anyway, this becomes an easy trap to fall into. Other harmful emotional motivators include the desire to seek revenge or bring conflict into other people’s relationships.

How Much Sex Should You Have in Your 20s-30s?

With all of those important aspects of a healthy and normal sex life covered, we can now move on to determining how much sex is healthy for you. It should be completely understood that what is ultimately normal and ultimately healthy is what satisfies both you and your partner. The figures presented here are simply averages based on a comprehensive study performed over 15 years and published not long ago.


For adults in general, across the entire age and life stage spectrum, the average is just slightly above once per week. But for adults in the prime of their sexual vitality in their 20s, that average doubles to about twice per week. In their 30s, as most settle down into long-term relationships, that number drops to around one-and-a-half times per week. Again, the most important number of all is the one that offers you and your partner the satisfaction and intimacy that each of you crave.

How Much Sex Should You Have in Your 40s-50s?

This is where the overall averages of how many times per week that people have sex really start to take effect. Most couples involved in the research in this age range found themselves squarely in the once-a-week category. Although it did decline slightly from the 40s to the following decade, many people in their 50s continued to enjoy sexual activity at or around once per week as well.

The Reversing Roles of Pleasure and Intimacy

One worthwhile note concerning continual healthy sex as you age is the increasing motivation for intimacy coming from the opposite end of the spectrum for both males and females. As a general rule, men are much more motivated by physical gratification and pleasure when they are in their 20s and 30s. As he gets into his late 40s through his 50s, the desire to increase the emotional intimacy and closeness of his relationship tends to increase as well.


Reversely, women oftentimes look to create a strong internal bond with their partners at a younger age. Then, as they age into their mid to late 30s and beyond and feel more comfortable and secure in their relationship, they are able to relax and let themselves better enjoy the physical pleasures of a healthy sex life.

How Much Sex Should You Have Beyond?

Understanding how much sex is healthy is always a personal and equal decision between two partners that requires conversation and understanding. While there may be studies and guides to help give you an idea of the average amount of times that other people in your age range may engage in adult activity throughout the month or year, it doesn’t have any bearing on what works in your bedroom.